Okay that is how I feel....YUCK. I don't normally talk about myself because this is for Bella but today I am feeling really down. I basically have fallen into this pit and I can't even see the way to get myself out. I have went from being a Director of Nursing of a decent size nursing facility to a stay at home mom. And not just any kind of stay at home mom but I don't leave. I mean it I maybe get a chance to leave my house around 1 hour a week total. I have nursing 4 days a week so I can leave during the day some. I do go to the grocery store on occasion but that is about it. I don't have anywhere else to go. It seems pointless to drive around aimlessly and waste gas money I don't have. I have been trying to occupy my time at home. I don't just sit around all day. I clean approx 8 hours a day. I am not joking. For those of you have seen my house you will believe me. I take care of the kids and then if I have time I read a little or scrapbook a little. You are probably saying Megan why don't you go get a job. Well I can't really. I really feel like someone needs to be home. It never fails that almost every week our schedule does not work out as planned. So if I did have job, I would be calling in all of the time. I can't work evenings because I just can't leave her and the other kids with Matt. I keep thinking isn't there some kind of organization I can join or something I can do to occupy my time. Well there is not a lot of things to do in Oswego. And I can't do anything unless it allows me to take Madison with me. I am just having one of those I feel sorry for myself days. I cry all of the time and then when I am not crying, I am just angry about my situation. I just want to be able to buy our house but our credit isn't great. We are still living with our parents which isn't too bad except we don't have any room for all of us. Almost everything Matt and I own is in storage. I am sure there are lots of solutions to my problems that seem so easy but until I crawl out of this pit, none of them are going to seem workable to me. I just want to be able to spend time with my husband once in awhile. I wish Isabella had a bedroom instead of sharing her room with the living room. Okay enough already!! I just need to get away from here for awhile!! I am thankful that Isabella is still with us and I praise God everyday for her. None the less, my life has changed drastically over the last year and I guess I am not great at coping. This is not intended to make anyone feel sorry for me. I don't want that. I just want to know if there are other people out there struggling like this . Does anyone have any suggestions. Or just pray.
By the way Isabella is great. I will post more pics later.
9 comments:
Megan,
All us stay at home moms go crazy every once in awhile with the need to interact with people our age and be able to get out and do something fun....and then you have a lot of other things that make it even harder. I just want you to know that I'm here for you, thinking about you guys all the time. Maybe you guys need to move to KC. ;) I know a couple of girls that'd love to be your babysitters and there's a bit more to do here! :)
Take care girl.
Much love,
Sarah
Megan,
You know, it's okay to post about yourself too. I myself as I'm sure others wonder how you are doing. Sometimes it is good to let it all out. The job that you have now, a stay at home mom, is one of the hardest job there is. As you know, I don't work either. My arthritis keeps me from working and I so wish that I could be out there working too just like you. You do want to get out of the house sometimes, and I think everyone does need to able to do so. It is hard, and you have it especially difficult. Just know that if you ever need to talk I am here. When it warms up if you want to go walk or something like that & take Bella, I would be glad to go with you. I am just a few blocks away. So if you ever need anything or help with anything, just let me know.
Take care,
Holly
I am so sorry that you are having a hard time right now. But I think things will get better for you Megan. I did not know what it is like to stay at home with a baby and not get out. That is what I am doing with Adrianna. I do think God everyday that I have her and I know how you feel. If you need someone to came over and spend time with you I can come over anytime. I just hope things start looking up for you I am gald that Isabella is doing good. I hope to hear from you soon.
Take care of your self Megan and I wish the best for you and your family. From Adrianna and her mommy Kim
Megan, I so understand how you feel. Who wouldn't go crazy being in a house all day. I want to say more about your post today, but I have a feeling it would be a little long for a comment so I am going to e-mail you. Hang in there. Love, Amy
Megan. I work outside the home and still have the feeling that I am in the pit as well. I go to work, to come home and stay home with my son. We dont go many places because I am afraid he will get sick, then it is missed work and illness, trips to the hospital, the on going list. You are not alone in the "Pit of life". there are many times I go through the feelings of it is all about everyone else, you want to scream WHAT ABOUT ME!! We love our children dearly and would never what anything different however sometimes I just want to scream...WHY ME! The illnesses, lack of friends, lack of family time doing fun stuff. My husband works opposite shifts so we can be home with Tucker. Makes it hard on the relationship. I dont know what the answer is, day by day I guess. I still have bad days as well,,,hang in there and I will keep you in my prayers. You are not alone.
Megan I miss you- come live here! You are an amazing mother and an amazing woman- in many ways you inspire me beyond words. Keep your head up, mama...you're doing a wonderful job- the most important job of all!
I will echo Sarah and Hillary and first say move to KC!! But also want to reinforce that you are doing a great job, and I'm sure your feelings are completly normal. You and Matt do need to try to find the time for yourselves, go grab dinner. Us nurses will start having to hassle you guys about taking date nights again...even though we aren't there we can still make sure you guys take care of yourselves too. You are an awsome mommy and nurse, and are taking wonderful care of all 3 of your girls. I love you and miss you guys. :)
Oh, Megan. I hear you loud and clear. You are an AWESOME mom, but more importantly, you are an awesome woman.
I have yet to meet a mother who has not had this very same struggle at it's core. How do we refill our tanks after they have been drained from the last drops...the last FUMES...of fuel? I don't want to downplay your unique situation, but I do want you to know you are not alone. I don't have any answers. In fact I'm trying to find some myself.
It's January, it's cold & dead outside, we're all crammed together inside and it feels like this is all there is, all there ever will be. How bleak...and bleck! But that's not the truth. This is just a season. A crappy season, but just a season nevertheless. I've been telling myself I can make it until February. I think I can I know I can I think I can I know I can.
Thanks for being honest. Give me a call anytime. I'll give you a call too.
Love ya!
Angela
Hi Megan,
My daughter Sofia is also a heart baby Im on one of your list that I have been reading your posting. I will be thinking of you and Isabella. Just to think of something bright Sofia had two open heart surgeries by the time she was one. And now she is doing okay for the most part. Im a stay at home mom too and the winter gets to you after a few weeks of not being able to go out and do anything. I hope you check out Sofia's website and we can keep in touch.
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