Look at that sweet baby face. She is now 17lbs 9 oz
My beautiful friends Brenda, Sharon and Crystal serving food at the Gospel Sing. I know as soon as Brenda sees this she is going to kill me!!
Well, the Gospel sing and the raffle drawing both went really well. Thank you to everyone who helped, donated and came. A special thanks to the Lighthouse church in Mound Valley for your love and support. Also a special thanks to the entire Gudde family for your continually dedication and love for Matt, me and the girls. We love you all. And last but not least, a special thanks to all of the ladies of Deseret Health Care. I miss all of you and love you all.
Isabella is doing well. She has been having some episodes of throwing up. It has only been happening once a day and only at night. It is when her stomach is empty and she is throwing up the acid stuff. I don't want to freak out about this, but sometimes I do. She is still doing awesome from a respiratory and a cardiac standpoint, but I still get scared. The throwing up has always lead to the hospitalizations. It is not following her normal pattern though. But if I could just ask everyone to pray just in case.
Even though we are home, it is still hard. I am really nervous a lot about what is going on with Bella. I have just had a rough couple of days. It is not that she is doing bad or anything like that. I think I am just tired and letting my thoughts get the best of me. I just want so badly to know that the worst is over with Bella. I wish I could just know that she is going to forever be okay. But I know that that is not an answer that I have privilege to. I know that only God knows. None of us our promised tomorrow. I am sorry to sound so down, but I just have days like this. It is hard to stay strong day in and day out. Sometimes I just want to get in my bed and stay there. These are the times however, that I just ask God to completely carry me. For he has carried me completely since January when Bella was diagnosed. Without him, I would have never made it. I still have faith everyday!! As I have said before, I have to walk everyday by faith and not by sight.
Thank you all for your love and prayers.
If you have faith like a grain of mustard seed you can say to this mountain, Move from here to yonder place and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you. Matthew 17:20
8 comments:
I know that it is near impossible to stay upbeat everyday, it gets tiring. To add to it you have two other girls to take care of. You are doing an excellent job being a mom, it's fine to feel down sometimes. That doesn't change the love you have for them or what you would do for them. It is scary when your baby has a history of being sick and something isn't going as planned. You have every right to feel nervous. Hopefully it is nothing. Just know that I pray for you all every night and you all continue to be in my thoughts. Have a good night and try not to worry yourself too much. Take care. Love, Amy
Hey Megan, it is good to hear from you guys. Sounds like Miss Bella is doing good besides the throwing up episodes, did you ask anyone about maybe increasing her Prevacid dose, (since she is so much bigger now!) maybe she is just making to much acid. But it doesn't sound anything like last time, so try not to worry!!! I know it is hard but it really does sounds like she is doing great, and you got a great report during her visit. So stay strong I know at times it is difficult. I still pray for the little peanut every time I think about her, which is very often. Tell her I miss her and give her some kisses for me!
I forgot to tell you that she looks absolutely beautiful in her pictures, such a cute outfit and she looks so big! I still can't believe how far she has come since before her trach until now!
My heart aches with you! I have been thinking about you tons, now I know why. I have not had such easy days lately either. Staying strong is the hardest part in these situations. Although our pain is different is it still pain, and either way it is always heavy on the heart. We continue to turn to God to find more strength, we need charged up quite often.
Jason is gone this week and tonight is the first time I have been alone in the house since my angel left, not to mention it's Sunday evening and those nights are the worse. Another week has passed since I last held my little angel and it breaks my heart more and more.
I am a complete wreck now, do me a favor give the girls extra hugs and moochies tonight...for me:)
Sorry, I did not want this to turn into being about me. We have to keep our faith and know that God will take care of us and our children! Just hold that little miracle of yours and know that the most important thing is that she is there in your arms!
Love you all!!!
WOW...I need to get to bed...sweet dreams!
Megan, you are very wise...and your feelings are oh-so-normal, though your situation is not. xxxxx
I just erased a long section of my text because I felt led to say "Be still and know I am God." (Psalm 46). Not that I am God, of course (hee hee). It's not a new verse, but the old ones bear repeating.
You & Bella will be well. Ride this "dark night of the soul"--you'll find the sunshine again.
Love and prayers daily,
Angela
Megan....
We love you and are praying for you. I can't even imagine the roller coaster ride you have been on, but know that you and Matt are promised, blessed children of God and Isabella falls under your blessing. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you!!Phillipians 4:13
Love,
Sheri
Megan, thank you for sharing your heart, even when it feels like you're on the bottom looking up. People need to know you are "human", too. You've given such a positive witness of God's power and love, and now we pray for His Almighty strength and love to fill you, bringing encouragement, hope, and everything you need (and only HE truly knows what that is)! We pray for precious Bella, that He will quickly give the answer to what she needs at night to stop this throwing up. God loves you all so much, and is so close, you might even feel that you "bump" into Him!
Much love, Aunt Judy
Just a quick one to let you know that God is indeed your strength!! He will see you through, and He will carry you when you cannot go on. He is just like a Father and will always take care of His children. We are praying for you!! My mom is looking forward to working on Wed. She'll take wonderful care of Bella!!! My mom's the greatest!! (but of course I am biased!!! ;) Keep encouraged, and don't be afraid to rest in God. Keep looking up, for God is always there!!!!
Esther Junod
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